Libby's Tips for Reducing MS Anxiety
He started asking me what happened and there was nothing I could say. My soul had been stripped from me and I was certain the beauty of the world was gone. Life was going to take what it wanted, when it wanted — and I had no abilities to fight it.
Life was hard for the first year after it all began for me. I would sit for hours in the bath or take multiple showers a day, so I could cry alone.
I stopped sleeping for the first six months; I was terrified of dying while I slept. I had started sleeping only after my son was in bed and until my husband went to bed. I would get maybe two hours of sleep a night.
I was falling apart. I needed help.
Realizing When Anxiety Has Become a Problem
We need peace; peace of mind, peace of body, and peace of spirit. MS can take away all of these things if we let it. Happiness can feel like gripping water: we dip our hands into the pool, trying to grab a drink, but the water gets squeezed out between our fingers.
How do we stop the anxiety and depression from taking over? How do we keep true to who we are and nurture the pure joy within our souls? It took me years to climb out and live a normal life.
I found respite within the love I received from my husband, son and close friendships. I sought counseling when times were terrible, and used their tools to take my days as they come. I learned to refocus on the things I could enjoy and the goodness happening all around me. I learned to thrive inside the darkness.
I created my own flame for life and fed it every chance that I could. I found a new neurologist — one I could trust. I learned to take in every moment of peace that came my way. Not a second is to be wasted.
Maintaining Peace of Mind
Life is more precious to me now. Life is fleeting; we all know this in the undercurrents of our days. When we are forced to face our mortality by living inside bodies that prevent us from experiencing the world, we get a glimpse of what it is like to have it all taken away.
My anxiety was able to be controlled once I accepted the unpredictability of disease signifies the unforgiving nature of this world, of this life, and of death.
I do not appreciate the threats MS poses to my body and my life. I have just come to realize I am no different than anyone else in this world. I have lived a longer life with this disease than that of some of my friends and family who were always healthy, only to die suddenly from some unseen accident.
We are pioneers journeying into the unknown — just like everyone else. And that makes me happy.
